In many articles, we read about teaching children to be responsible, often emphasizing assigning personal tasks and cooperating at home. However, responsibility is not only about taking care of household chores. Children must also learn to take responsibility for their own behaviors and emotions.

What does it mean to take responsibility for one’s emotions and behaviors? For example, in public places or at parties, parents often tell their children: “Behave properly, be polite, be a good child, or people will say your parents didn’t raise you well,” or “Don’t embarrass us,” or “Your actions reflect the kind of family you come from.”

These statements send an unconscious message to children: the parents are responsible for their behavior. If they make mistakes, the parents are to blame, not them. Consequently, children may manipulate their parents in public or at home, misbehaving to get what they want because parents are concerned about appearances and social judgment.

Many parents also threaten future punishment, but the child still exhibits inappropriate behavior publicly, having learned that they are not responsible for their own actions. They believe their parents are always at fault if others criticize them.

Psychologists suggest teaching children from an early age that all their words, emotions, and uncontrolled impulses—like anger or defiance—are their own responsibility. Children should learn to acknowledge the consequences, address misunderstandings, and apologize when necessary.

For example, if a child behaves inappropriately at a party, the responsibility lies with the child, not the family. It is the child’s reputation at stake, and they must learn to resolve the situation themselves. Parents should never convey that they are at fault for the child’s behavior.

Through this approach, children understand that they are responsible for their behaviors, words, and emotional responses. They learn to manage their feelings and accept the consequences of their actions. Over time, this fosters emotional independence, better decision-making, and the ability to respond appropriately in difficult situations without feeling entirely dependent on parental support.

Alongside these practices, children must also be taught emotional awareness and regulation. Only by recognizing their emotions and understanding how these feelings influence their behavior can they consistently act responsibly. When children are aware of their emotions and understand how these feelings arise in response to events, they can control their behavior and respond appropriately in different situations.